As a Berkeley Lifestyle Family Photographer, I know there are many reasons that busy moms put off scheduling a family photography session. After all, mom life is busy. There’s work, kids, and after-school activities……there never seems to be a minute just for you. So finding time to schedule and show up for a photography session may seem daunting. But there’s another unspoken reason that moms put off photographs. And it has to do with how we feel about our bodies. I get it; I really do.
Why it’s hard
For most of my life, I have disliked my body. I think it started when I was really young. I was fair-haired and freckle-faced, and I had a large birthmark on my leg. While I now love seeing little ones with freckles, I hated my freckles growing up. If I could have scrubbed them off, I would have. And don’t get me started on my feelings about my birthmark. They exist even today.
Then as a teenager, when all of my friends were developing curves, I was flat-chested, and there wasn’t a curve to be found on me. I was still wearing a training bra at 16!
I got pregnant when I was 19, and my body changed. Those breasts that I longed for when I was 16, I got them. Boy, did I get them! After my second child, I found that my body didn’t bounce back. Where did that belly pooch come from, and why won’t it go away? And even though breastfeeding was amazing, and I’ve never regretted doing it, it sure changes your breasts.
Now that I’ve gotten older, I have the curves that I longed for as a teenager. But guess what? I don’t always love them. I’d love to lose 20 pounds and feel better in my body. But instead of focusing on the scale, I’m trying to focus on eating healthy and exercising, and loving my body, extra pounds and all.
Society’s definition of perfect
What I’m trying to say is that I get it. As women, we’ve been programmed since we were little girls on what the “perfect” body looked like. We saw it in all of the photoshopped images in magazines, and we saw it on TV. We even saw it in our Barbie dolls! It’s no surprise that we learned to dislike our bodies when they weren’t like the ones we saw as perfect. Many of us still base our self-esteem on our appearance. But guess what? Many Instagram bodies aren’t real. What you don’t see are the filters and lighting tricks that fool us into seeing the perfection that’s not really there.
Let’s choose self-love
As women, our bodies are amazing and can do so many incredible things. Women are tough, nurturing, comforting, and fierce. Our bodies can grow another human being, a process that is physically and mentally challenging, but our bodies can grow and adapt. Our weight should not be tied to our worth.
The next time you think about scheduling family photos, don’t listen to the voice that says, “But I need to lose 20 pounds,” or “I hate the way I look, so I’ll just get photos of my kids.”
So hear me when I say I see you. I am you. I’m still a work in progress too. Drop me a comment, and share how you love the body you have.
Check back to see the conclusion of this series, Loving Our Bodies, Why it Matters That Moms Get In The Picture.
Leigh Ann – Your Berkeley, CA, Family and Newborn Photographer, serving perfectly imperfect families. And remember, I serve families throughout the Bay Area.
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